Another day passes

I stay patient here, I have nothing else I really can do. Sometimes I get into a deep thought and will let that consume me for an hour or so. At least it feels that way. I'm not really sure if it's that long but it sure as heck feels like it. 

I guess my newest hobby among lifting weights is praying. It feels so good and right to do it now. I don't know why I haven't ever made this change in my life. I try not to be selfish. I hate being too selfish and praying about me and more about the people in my life. I make promises to god that I plan to keep. 

One thing I have come to realize is that you can't make anyone do anything, you can only simply be the best you can be and hope they accept you. If they don't accept you then that is their loss. I know this sounds cruel but human being can be cruel. I try to maintain some sort of realism when it comes to man. They are so self serving that they lose sight of one another. 

I have been attempting to watch this movie the last couple of nights called, "The Great Dictator." Charlie Chaplin is in it and for the most part play his normal role. At the end though-yes I haven't finished the movie but this is a famous scene-he talks about helping out fellow man and that we are the key to our demise and to our salvation. His speech is so moving that I really want to believe every word he says. 

I know that man might not always be good but I myself can be. We all have choices we can make. We can choose to eat the cheeseburger, dance, study, work or drink. We also have the choice to believe in His existence. We have the choice to be a good person. I have chosen this path, it has not found me. Quiet the opposite. After 23 years in my life I have found myself. 

I love my family, my friends, my religion, and her. 

Even though she hasn't talked to me since Saturday, granted it's only been a couple days, I have faith in her. I have faith in Him. I know that He cares about me and that he will lead me down the best path in life. I praise Him and know the He will guide me down the road to salvation. If that means she is in my life, then good, but if not then that is not His plan for me. 

I can only follow what I love and for now that is what I plan on doing. I love these things and tend to them like my own garden. Each bit will be treated well and I will watch them flourish. 

Spunned