As no one would know that could read this I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of about 2 years. It was probably one of the most awful experience of my life thus far. I regret it thoroughly and it definitely was a mistake, no doubt. I'm slipping down this hole it seems, where I don't want to make my life any better. Self sabotage if you will. It's almost as if I want to not succeed. I truly do love my ex-gf but I have gotten to the point where I don't feel like making it better, plus I have a very guilty feeling within....
I have lately been talking to another girl outside of my gf, truly I know this is the most deviant move I have made. Not saying too much but not when you take into consideration people actually call me the most average person they have met. I don't cheat, I don't gamble, I do drink, never gotten a ticket nor been stung by a bee, been on a plane once to Cincinnati and that is the one and only time I have been out of the south. Back to the girl though, she's gorgeous, probably the hottest girl I have ever had interest in me. That said she is one of the biggest skanks ever. The night before I broke up with my gf, we almost hooked up and that is where I begin to feel guilty. She said that I was a cheater and a piece of shit. Never have I thought those words be said to me and really just put everything into perspective. I can't live myself knowing that I'm talking to another girl while dating a girl who is truly in love with me. It's not right and not fair. I call her the next day and break up. Worst conversation ever because just 3 days before that we agreed to work on things and make our relationship better because it was on the rocks. I feel pretty awful and feel that I deserve to be punished. In yet I can't seem to muster up the courage to say to my ex-gf that I had talked to another girl.
This all occurred over Thursday and Friday. Saturday comes around and I decide to stay in and get shit housed with a buddy instead of going to some massive party. We do that but around 2 am the little whore calls me and says she wants to see me. I tell her that I don't know and I just broke up with my girlfriend. We talk for 10 mins and break and tell her to come over. Thats the last I heard from her that night. Wake up in the morning to see her on the bed of one of my roommates. Fucking skank. Never been teased like that before in my life.
So just to recap in a 72 hour period, almost cheated with my gf, broke up, then get the biggest fucking tease call ever and the girl sleeps with my friend. Needless to say I'm in the shitter. I had a dream last night the my laptop was literally melting and burning. I looked it up on the net and saw that this means I'm braking away from things, want to burn bridges, and stay from stuff. Makes a lot of sense when you think about it. So here I am, out in the cold with my dick in my hand and I don't have a fucking clue where I'm going.
Yours Truly
Spinning
