Jump back up

Only you can put yourself in the dumps and for me I am pretty darn good at it. I was for a little tonight, I think I'm just more confused but a little disappointed. I won't divulge into the details because I'm probably just being paranoid but part of me thinks I am right. I guess that is what a paranoid guy like me does...

My paranoia is what drives me. It is literally what makes me good at anything. If I loose it then I become mediocre but if I keep it makes me pretty good at something. Sadly this doesn't translate into girls. Thus I have learned that when/if I'm paranoid I need to not listen to it because without a doubt it will do more harm then good.

So, I guess, I'm in the dumps or was. I'm not really sure. I'm trying to process everything but I know that the truth will come out eventually and I have prepared myself. I guess that's the only thing you can do in life sometimes, prepare yourself.

John Wooden once said, "failing to prepare, is preparing to fail." That quote has always resonated with my paranoia. So when I really do care about something, and trust me I don't care about too many things, I prepare myself for the outcomes. I'm going to run my course through this situation but regardless I will be prepared.

Life just can be too hard if you aren't prepared. But this isn't a post about life. This is about jumping back up? I guess, I need to be better with my titles because I just go on tangents on these post that literally not at one point do I highlight though it. So I guess the point of this is that I need to jump back up from earlier bout with depression.

In some ways I'm not depressed at all. I love the direction my life is heading, my knee is getting better though it does hiccup frequently as of now, I did good in summer school, and I'm getting in good shape. So much so that my roommate asked to workout with me this week. I need to start looking for internships and doing a couple things for my new position in the fraternity but outside of that I'm happy with my life.

Things don't always go as plan and you can be prepared for every result but no matter what life throw's you a monkey wrench. My monkey wrench is a beautiful young lady that has been messing with my head for a couple of months for now. Never was I prepared for her, which in some ways makes it great but my head doesn't always enjoy it. One thing I do hope for is that this monkey wrench continues to mess with my head but if it doesn't it will not be the end of my life. I know what I want and will fight for it but as they say it takes two to tango.

Also another poor cliche is that it's better to love and for it to be lost then to never love at all. Even if I'm echoing these sentiment in the near future, I know one thing for sure, that I'm living. And that makes me jump back up.

Spinning