Rusty

Trust is starting to become a big issue in my life. People that I invest emotion to is a big deal. I use to trust mostly anyone but lately that seems to change. People say things and will do something else. Or they'll just go behind your backs and never talk to you about it. I've been hurt from time to time in my life and that has left me much more skeptical about if there is good in man.

I'm not saint nor do I pretend to be. I do manipulate people from time to time and I get the most out of something if I can. I can get into people's heads and really get them angry or hate me. It's not a talent I'm proud of because it definitely leads to relationship issues. I do most things because I want to see a reaction though. I'm mean to someone so they step up and be mean back to me. Ignore someone to see if they give me attention. I'm sarcastic to someone who is serious.

People who are legit stiffs are what really get me going. Some people just go about life feeling like that if they don't do this they won't be happy. I'm pretty sure being happy is how you make it and the people around you do that. A couple years ago I made it my job to make my fraternity better. I went out there rushed my butt off and got some solid guys. Then I got more and in turn those guys got more solid guys. Next thing I know I'm in the best fraternity on campus. It wasn't just me but I'm responsible for close half the chapter in joining the fraternity. No one else can say that in this fraternity. I'm proud of it because I seeked better people around me and I got it. Durward Owen once said, "Great men surround themselves with greater men." Thats what I want to do all my life.

Hopefully these men are the type of guys I can trust though. I'm not gonna just throw my emotions at everyone because they will hurt you. For certain. Not everyone is responsible enough nor care about someone to realize what they can do to someone. I think they are good people in this world and at the end of the day I would like to think I'm on the greener side of the fence. I might say somethings that are mean but I'll never actually do anything mean. I lookout for my friends and trust them to do the same. I think at some points I might care more about them then they care about me but I'm sure it fluctuates. I need more rocks in my life, people who I can trust to talk to. I don't have many of those and it's an effort to do so. Maybe my newest rock will be a girl, who knows. Just gotta make sure to look under each one to make sure they are right.

Spinning